Approach & Philosophy

 

 

Functional Psychological & Relational Health: Creating health & vitality for individuals, couples & relationships, families and teams.

 

I don’t specialize in disorders.  I specialize in the human experience.

 

Everyone is looking for a quick fix, a transformational tool that will solve all their “problems.”  In reality, there are few quick fixes.  There are tools and techniques we can use to speed transformation along but without consistency, savage consistency, we veer right back toward the path of least resistance; old habits, old ways of thinking, doing and being.

 

Similar to physical health, we need to focus on the basic tenants of being psychologically healthy and resilient.  Most of us have not been taught the foundational, functional, concepts and practices that build awareness, cognitive flexibility, mental strength and endurance. Without understanding the basics of functional psychological health how can we expect people to avoid injury and fatigue?

 

I believe we have been negligent in teaching our society the basics of functional health; physical, mental and relational. We lean too far toward pathologizing the human experience while ignoring the basics that create physical, mental, emotional and relational well-being.

 

Most humans don’t have a psychiatric disorder, they have a lifestyle disorder.  Our lifestyle isn’t just built on WHAT we are doing but WHY we are doing it.  It’s driven by how we make sense of ourselves within the context of the world and what we need to do to succeed.  Success to your human brain means staying safe, secure and belonging.  Your brain doesn’t really care if you’re happy, it evolved to try and keep you alive.  Its foundational drive is survival.

 

Health and well-being require effort and energy.  Use it or lose it. If I stop focusing on the foundations of my physical health (sleep, nutrition and exercise, also the foundation of mental health by the way) I lose muscle, I gain weight, my endurance, mobility and flexibility decline.  When I stop giving effort and energy toward the foundations of my mental, emotional and relational well-being, they atrophy and eventually will slip into states of dis-ease.  Small things often, purposefully and consistently.

 

Physical and mental health are not separate.  Health is a balanced and resilient system, the sum of which is greater than its parts. We are often not to blame for the stress, pain and challenges we face but we are responsible for working through them.  That’s a good thing.  It gives us a sense of agency. It means we have some power and influence to change what we’re experiencing or how we’re experiencing it.

 

We need to train for life. It’s not about doing things perfectly.  It’s about doing things purposefully.

 

We begin by creating a sense of agency, and maybe even awe, regarding the depth and complexity of the human brain and mind.   People need basic knowledge of the system and mechanisms they are attempting to influence.  They don’t need to become experts, but they need enough information to believe they can influence their experience.  The real work comes from integrating these foundational concepts into their daily action and behavior.

 

Building the foundation of Well-Being: Well-being is not a place we reach and stay.  Well-being is a state we are constantly balancing.  The 5 areas below are like legs on a stool.  They provide organization and insight into areas that might need management to keep our well-being balanced and stable.

 

• BrainBody Basics:
  • Understanding the basics of how a human brain functions.
  • How to create and manage a balanced system in the body
  • Simplifying the complexity of the experience

 

• Awareness & Stress Regulation
  • Making the unconscious conscious
  • Mapping your personal & private logic networks: The basics of where your brain makes predictions in the present moment
  • Building and utilizing mindfulness skills
  • Incorporating systems checks on the input you’re experiencing

 

• Shifting from reaction to intention
  • Conscious attention vs. Unconscious attention
  • Redefining purposeful goals: we need to know and understand where we are aiming and why
  • Learning to shift from an automatic reactive drive to an inspired creative drive

 

• Social Connection & Relationship
  • Understanding different levels of intimacy and vulnerability
  • Conceptualizing and utilizing a personal boundary system for healthy connection
  • What happens when two minds meet: the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly
  • Building healthy relationships at home, at work and in your community
  • The challenge and opportunity of romantic relationships

 

• Action & Experience
  • Knowledge in action creates transformation (a.k.a learning!)
  • What gets in the way? Continued awareness building & stress regulation
  • What works? Savage consistency. Repetition reinforces intentional networks in the brain.